The Followers by Radhia Gleis tells the story of how, after 25 years in a cult, under the influence of a narcissistic sociopath, the author sought to understand why she made the choices she made in her life, so she could better understand why others make their choices. This excerpt is published by permission.
“Holy Hell” and the Disciples of Narcissistic Leaders: How My Years in a Notorious Cult Parallel Today’s Cultural Mania
Introduction
What a ride these past few years have been. It feels like the headlights of the year 2020 rushed up behind us, then suddenly disappeared in our rearview mirror, rammed our fender, and swerved around us while rageful, drunken juveniles leaned out their windows, raising their fists and yelling vile expletives. Shocked, confused, and frightened, America is left with little more than red taillights speeding off into the future. Our maps and GPSs flew out the open window miles ago, and this journey has no end in sight. Exhausted, our eyelids strain to stay open as we keep our foot on the pedal and attempt to navigate the twisted highways and bumpy backroads ahead. But as though in a recurring dream, it seems I’ve been on this road before. I recognize the signposts, the potholes—the winding, dangerous curves.
I spent twenty-five years of my adult life in a cult, under the influence of a narcissistic sociopath. I left the group over twelve years ago, but the post-traumatic stress entombed in my psyche has been repeatedly triggered by the characteristics of political and cultural leaders of today; and like Moonies under Sun Myung Moon, Germans under the influence of Hitler, or the Branch Davidians under David Koresh, a percentage of my country has fallen into a cult of personality.
As political elites, corporate puppeteers, and Russian oligarchs continue to spend their dark money, spinning well-coordinated propaganda, the followers don’t even suspect that they’ve been played.
So how is this happening?
It took me twenty-five years to recognize and escape the psychological prison of cult life. But our little cult was hardly on the world stage, with all the gravitas afforded to the most powerful and influential country in the world. We were about 150 men and women insulated within our own small, clandestine community. We called ourselves the Buddha-field. One member, Will Allen, even made a movie about us, called Holy Hell.
After they presented Holy Hell at the Sundance Film Festival, I heard people say anything from “I get it, I would have joined that group” to “I would never be that stupid; how could anyone fall for that?” There is one common denominator among all the members of the Buddha-field. We would say, “You had to be there!” As I witness a portion of my country having been lured in by a narcissistic sociopath, I’m reminded of what it was like in the Buddha-field. Why did we follow such a leader? What makes people give up their will, their sense of right and wrong—give up their moral compass and family ties for a person or an ideal?
The following is a profound statement from the publisher’s summary of The Most Dangerous Superstition by Larken Rose: “The vast majority of theft, extortion, intimidation, harassment, assault, and even murder—in other words, the vast majority of man’s inhumanity to man—comes not from the greed, hatred, and intolerance that lurks in our hearts. Rather, it comes from one pernicious and almost universal assumption, one unquestioned belief, one irrational, self-contradictory superstition: the belief in ‘authority.’”
I set out on this journey to explore these questions. I’ve read extensively about cult mind control, propaganda techniques, the pathology of narcissists and sociopaths, and the innate human urge to belong. We’re all complicated; but there are some common traits that every human being possesses, and I have a burning desire to share them.
I wrote this book because I sought to understand why I made the choices I made in my life, so I could better understand why others make their choices. When it comes to voting for a leader, I usually think I’m sure I know exactly who the right choice should be, so when I see others voting for the opposite, I’m in the “I would never be that stupid; how could anyone fall for that?” camp. But when people say that to me, I feel misunderstood, shamed, and separate. I lose all my compassion and react with the same arrogant, self-righteous judgment towards them.
Before we go down this rabbit hole, let me be clear: This is not a memoir. I have a graduate degree, am an experienced researcher, and I approach this as a science project of sorts. I’m not going to give you ten ways to have a meaningful dialogue with someone in “the other camp.” Politics today has gone way beyond a “Let’s agree to disagree” scenario. And I don’t expect at the end of this journey that we will all hold hands and sing “Kumbaya.” This is not about policy or political ideology or even the guru or our political leaders, as much as it is about the followers from the viewpoint of a follower. The Holocaust or any genocide instigated by a narcissistic authority does not happen because of one man. It is the collective consciousness of their followers that supports and enacts those atrocities. And even if a leader is voted out of office, this does not mean those followers will not make a martyr out of them and carry their twisted ideology into the future.
The inspiration for this adventure came from a statement that a woman made during a book club meeting. This little club is a group of men and women, about my age, who read unconventional Christian-oriented books and get together to drink coffee and discuss them. They invited me to the group because the organizer thought I would be an interesting additive, sort of like a weird spice in the soup. One morning we were talking about verses in the Bible that everyone agreed were just nonsense. One woman said, “Yeah, when the priest says stuff like that, I just let it wash over me and ignore it.” I thought, Why? It’s bulls**t. Why do we let them get away with that? Why do we not challenge them right then and there? Why do we keep returning and let them continue to indoctrinate us without protest? Then I thought, Oh, I know. Duh! I’d let that happen to me for twenty-five years.
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